The havoc of Princess Cutie Pops

One of the things I've learned in my eight years of mothering is to postpone my direct interaction with my children when they have some sort of calamitous mishap that results in destruction of property or an ungodly mess. To delay my reaction and cool the fire that has ignited within my brain, I take pictures. Before I clean up, discipline or anything, I grab the camera and click away. Let me rephrase that. Before I clean up, discipline or anything I try to grab the camera and click away. Somedays are more successful than others. The great thing is I have evidence. Lots of evidence. Unfortunately, one child more than the others is involved with these fiascos. More often than not, she is the sole perpetrator. So for your viewing pleasure, here is a small sample of the wanton destruction that is Princess Cutie Pops.

First off we have what appears to be only a slight mess. When looked at close though, we see a great deal more. The most obvious is the opened raisin container in front of her. She has happily eaten almost every last one, except for the few that fell onto the floor. Speaking of the floor, she has found the hugely enormous pixie stick that I had hidden from the kids after I had let them each have a little mouthful. Unfortunately it has all dumped out on the floor with the raisins. Pink, sugary powder. Do you know what a pain it is to clean up sugar powder? Get it wet and you have a sticky mess. Keep it dry and you can't get it all up. What you don't see at all, though, is the bag of noodles that have been dumped out behind her. Ahhh, youth.


A simple yogurt container, in the hands of Princess Cutie Pops can turn into a weapon of sizable destruction. The only saving grace is that this happened in the kitchen and not on the carpet. Look at her, she's thinking, "Now, how did this happen?"


Next is somewhat my fault. The kids live in a loft-like room with a half wall that surrounds the staircase. I thought a plant would look nice there. Princess Cutie Pops had other ideas.



One bag of cornstarch + one red-headed girl = the picture at left. Cornstarch is even harder to clean up than pink pixie candy dust. Use water and it turns into a cementy paste, sweep and your entire room is dusted with white powder.


What do mung beans, ground black pepper and jasmine rice all have in common? They make an excellent medium for drawing designs on the kitchen floor. I count my blessings though. They are much easier to clean up than cornstarch or pixie powder.


And now for the piece de Resistance. It has been a few years since this masterful desecration, and yet the feelings of nausea and disbelief still accompany my viewing of this picture. I won't tell you what it is exactly, but I'll give you some hints. It is readily available at regular intervals throughout the day. It has a distinctive odor. It is something that you never imagine you will have to clean off your walls before you have children.

That's it. A window into the unbelievable abilities of Princess Cutie Pops. If you want to have the little sweetie in your life, it comes with these "extras." But in the end, I can tell you it's worth it.