Clean up on aisle seven!

I hadn't been grocery shopping in over two weeks and, considering that I usually go every week, I had an enormous list. After getting up late, proctoring homeschool, eating lunch and finishing the shopping list, we got going at the bright and early time of 2:45pm. Perfect timing on my part: just long enough after lunch that everyone is hungry and at that magical hour of the day that even though no one is a nap-taker, we're all on the downward side of the energy mountain.

So, off we go to Winco. As you come in to the huge store, you are lead to your right, through the "Aisle of Wonders." Seasonal items at amazing discounts flank you at both sides. If you continue straight ahead, right before you hit the far wall of the produce section you can see the little Odwalla refrigerator. On occasion, if we are hungry or I'm just a little tired or both as we were today, we stop and pick a treat from the delicious assortment of nourishing beverages. Today we had a unanimous decision of Blueberry. (From experience: If any group of children votes unanimously on any given choice, do not ask any other questions. And do not, under any circumstances, ask "Are you sure?") I said, "Okay. Blueberry B Monster it is."

If an Odwalla beverage is purchased, we have a rule that you must begin drinking it immediately. So, I unscrewed the lid, took a drink (another rule: Mom goes first.) and then gave everyone a turn. Every so often throughout the store someone will say, "I'm thirsty." That is the signal for an Odwalla break.

We were walking westward down aisle seven. We call that the "Soup & Beans" aisle. I had stopped to grab a can of pintos when Princess Cutie Pops whined, "I'm hungry." That is a secondary signal for an Odwalla break. I handed Princess Cutie Pops the bottle, noticing that it was almost empty. "Don't drink too much, sweetie, it's almost gone." She started drinking. After what I thought was long enough, I took it and gave the bottle to Scoochy. She took a small drink then held it out to Tank. For some reason I turned at that moment to grab the aforementioned beans. Why I turned then, I'm not sure. But turn I did. I casually grabbed the beans and as I looked around back at Tank, he brought the bottle to his lips and lifted it completely vertical. The last of the Blueberry B Monster poured down his cheeks, onto his sweatshirt and dripped onto the floor. I had one can of pinto beans in each hand and it happend so fast that even if my hands were empty I'm still not sure I could have prevented the mess.

I put the cans into the cart and knelt down beside Tank, unsure what to do next. A woman who looked like she understood said, "Too bad you don't have a camera." (Had she read my post?) But I did have one. Since I've started blogging, I keep my brother's camera in my purse. (We're currently without one since I broke ours. Who knew Canon didn't make cameras strong enough to handle three falls onto concrete?) So I took a couple pictures then collected my thoughts. I sent Dodge to find an employee with a turquoise apron on and tell them what happened. While he was gone I licked, yes you read that right, licked Tank's face and hands clean of the B Monster. What else could I do? I didn't have any napkins or tissues or anything. My only fear was that someone would think he had puked and see me cleaning him like a mother cat. Luckily, I was done before the employee got there. The mess on the floor was really nothing. He ended up using paper towels to clean it. (If only I had been patient!)

Dodge was really sad that he didn't get any more B Monster. I told him he could suck it off his brother's sweatshirt, but he didn't consider that an option. "Well," I told him, "That's your loss." I turned, grabbed the cart and we kept shopping as if nothing had happened. Because, when you live with us, it really is nothing.